Following up on yesterday's round of 90 at Makray

You thought I was stellar yesterday, you should have seen me this MORNING!

Chamber of Commerce tees off both 9's early, earlier than dad and I get there, but we get special dispensation to start on #12 tee. Here is the sadness of the solid ball striker:

#12 Rip drive, convince self to take a little something off an 8-iron (I use a "reverse Vardon" grip and get a softer-landing shot that flies about 6 yards less than my normal), 2-putt from 20'. I am rollin'!

#13 Take my 4-iron equivalent and hit it about 15' directly below the hole. 3-putt bogey. Rollin' even deeper in it!

#14 Pull a drive, but hit it solidly. Correctly select a 6-iron, hit a monster draw, take a sand wedge thinking I am deep down in the valley, to the left of the green. OOPs, the big ole mound stopped my shot from going into treacherous area. I am in need of my 52-degree wedge, but, too damn lazy to do anything about it, slide the sand wedge under the ball in the long grass, and have just about the same chip left. Brilliantly get it on the green to 4' and two-jack it, double bogey, am back to being bogey man.

#15 RIP a driver, long, right-hand fairway. Come to ball, real funky stance, there is a two foot depression in the fairway, and, I am too lazy to choke up my 21-degree metal club, so, hit a fat shot, low, runner, leaving me with a 3-wood to the green. Once again, too lazy to get the proper club, go with the 21-degree metal, hit a very solid high hook, damn lucky didn't take the 3-metal, would have been in the trap. Wedge it to 5 feet, and two-putt, another monster / major triumph! Five holes, five over, I AM the BOGEY MONSTER!

#16 (they have opened up the "real" ladies tees today, first time, there is a lady's league that follows the Chamber of Commerce. Theses lady's tees are at fairly exquisite angles, and it is not even the same golf course. Rip a driver, knock 6-iron on the green, two-putt for par! Ta-effin' da!

#17 Now the lady's tees are REALLY pleasing to me, because this one sets up to the left of where we played from yesterday, and it basically takes the left-hand bunker out of view, out of sight, and out of play (Ralph manages to snap hook a 4-iron to the left of left; we never find it; the exception that proves the rule). I knock my 3-iron equivalent to 12', sink the birdie putt! AHA, a TWO, got it goin' NOW fo' sho'!

#18 Uncork a drive. Beat a 3-wood to 80 yards short. Got an 80-yard club, hit it to 12 feet below the hole, three-jack it, making bogey.

4 4 6 6 4 2 6 - not too bad, 32 shots after 7 holes, with a doable par-4 and a pretty much bogey par 4 left. Let's see where they send us at the turn.

Ladies are gettin' restless, about to hit the first tee. Golf shop sends us out ("get goin' NOW boys" they tell us) ahead of the ladies, warning us to not get in their way.

#1 Rip a driver long, into the right ruff. Hit a fat snap 9-iron pin high next to the evergeen, in the long grass, to the left of the green. Chip ever so gently on to 14'. Three jack it. Double bogey, 6. NOT TO WORRY, I'm hitting it solid, and putting a little better, and chipping MUCH better.

#2 REALL NICE NEW TEE - perfectly looking hole now on the set up. RIP a drive, and cannot help myself. Must pace it off - 248, which for me is major league long. Knock 9-iron on green. In serious danger of sinking birdie putt, but, given that I already made ONE birdier, t'ain't no way in hell I will be making anudder. PAR!

#3 Rip another drive, leaving myself what I believe to be a 6-iron to the pin. I am not starting to take the GPS on the carts seriously, and beginning to think about such minor details as wind direction, wind velocity, elevation of greens, etc. "SEE" what needs to be done, as never before. Aim 6-iron at the right hand edge of the right bunker and hope to either draw it on the green and run it up, or leave it hanging and short of the green, but in the grass for a MUCH easier chip. Snap pull the 6-iron into the water. DROP from the same spot (screw this, I OWN this shot), hit the 6-iron perfectly, draw it to 12' from the pin and two-putt. NUDDER DOUBLE, No BFD.

#4 NOW, the 6-iron will be perfect. And I hit a good one, but, what's this? It hangs on the right hand side, it hits the green, it runs hard right, hopefully the long grass will keep it out of the water (who knows, never find the ball, declare it in the water). Chip smoothly to 12'. Damn near make the putt ... except for the part that it keeps moving. Speaking of keeping on moving, Ralph is poised to a halt like a vulture ready to scoop down and grab a mouthful of carrion. He is in my field of vision, horrible place to stand, yes, I get it he is not moving, but he is all I can see. I walk away from the 2' putt. "Go ahead and putt," says I, "I can't putt when you're standing still." He holes out. I miss the two-footer. A triple bogey 6! WAY TO GO CHUMP!

#5 REALLY rip a drive, left rough (would be better off teeing off with a 7-iron then hitting a 3-wood from a flat lie in the fairway and taking my chances with a short-iron 3rd shot, but, that t'ain't gonna happen any time soon! Snap pull a 21-degree metal which never gets air born, but makes the fairway. Got about 210. Rip the 21-degree to about 10' short of the green. Chip to 6', roll the putt to less than 1/4" of the hole, on the high side (played for a 6' break) but it keeps on breaking another 4' below the hole. THIS is key! BELOW the hole is good. Save the double bogey. Ta Da!

#6 Rip anudder driver. Decide to try and hit the green in two with a 3-wood. Don't even come close. Whip out my sand wedge (which I have NOT practiced with except to hit full shots, covering my 80-yard distance solution), try to hit it 60 yards. Carry about 35 yards. CRAP, I have a 60-yard club (who says you can't buy your game in the golf shop). Chip to 4'. Lip the putt, nudder 6!

#7 I OWN this hole. Hit my 4-iron equivalent about 15' short of the hole, with an uphill putt, which I manage to hit 4' off line, above the pin, to the right. Miss the par save (surprise, surprise). Nudder bogey.

#8 RIP a driver (when am I gonna learn to hit 3-metal here?) mild pull with hard draw. Got 115 to the flag, uphill, into the wind. Reverse Vardon a 9-iron, hit it 88 yards ... oops, probably needed an 8-iron. Damn wind has gotten windier. Skull my S-wedge over the green (am I gonna be in the reeds?) Nope. On grass, blind shot, I got it, soft float the S-wedge, has to be perfect? No? Walk up to the green, the the damn ball is STILL rolling, (oops, the wind was at my back) damn near off the green. Save double bogey with the 2-putt. NFP.

#9 Hit a real hard driver, but pull it so far left, I would have to hit it 450 to carry the water. Rather than go and play from the point of entry (too easy), I re-tee, and destroy a driver down the right-hand side of the fairway. Decide to reverse Vardon an 8-iron, but, OOPS, we are not DOWNWIND, we are INTO a quartering left to right wind (remember this when you're on Medinah - "the wind always blows; it behooves you to know from which direction and with what velocity). Ball does not roll back down the hill (but I am short of the green). Chip with the 8-iron, opening the face and gently sliding the club under the ball. NICE, now my soft landing shot lands about 2' on the green, and starts to roll BACKWARDS! off the green, down the hill, negative yardage, CRAP! Now I close the face of the 8-iron, play a bump and run, to 6', smoothly three putt.

AND NOW, I am pissed off, to the MAX.

"Damn it," I say, I'm gonna play from the black tees. I'll shot 10 shots better, and I can't get in trouble off the tee." I think about this last statement, and then append, "Unless I hit it short."

6 4 6 6 6 6 4 6 7 = 51

Hot diggity dogs. FINALLY, I play a 9-hole round on Makray and don't make any fives! Don't break 50, either!

Okay, now Ralph feels compelled to play from the blacks too. "Dad, I didn't intend for you to play from back here." "It's okay," he says.

#10 Snap pull a driver into the water. Screw it, put down another driver, RIP it, rough left. Rip a 3-metal to the right rough. From a buried lie in the rough, the grass grabs my 9-iron's club face and pulls it closed, and I leave my shot short. Play another 9-iron, from about 60 yards, no practice swing, deep rough, but bleed it out to 8' and two jack it. Ho hum, another (no, wait, the first) quadruple bogey.

#11 Look out at this 540 yards par 4, "Can't get into trouble no matter where I drive it," says I. And proceed to drive it into the water right, which I ought not have been able to reach. Hit a good 21-degree metal, then another, 6-iron just short of the green, chip to 4', and then, the perfect end to a perfect round. Two putts, another quadruple bogey: 8. And thus

8 8 (4 4 6 6 4 2 6) = 48

BRILLIANT. Another nine hole round and not a 5 anywhere to be found on the score card. A round of distinction. One I will always treasure.

Ain't it a grand game?

NO, it t'ain't!

Oh, wait, 48-51 = 99. Broke 100! What a wonderful day!