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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

One day a man decides to retire

One  day a man decided to retire...

He booked  himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to  have the time of his life, that is, until the ship  sank.
He soon found himself on an island with  no other people, no supplies, nothing, only  bananas and coconuts.

After about four  months, he is lying on the beach one day when the  most gorgeous woman he has ever seen  rows
  up  to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did  you come from? How did you get here?"

She  replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the  island where I landed when my cruise ship  sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were  really lucky to have a row boat wash up with  you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman.  "I made the boat out of some raw material I found  on the island.
  The  oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove  the bottom from palm tree branches, and the  sides and  stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But,  where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was  no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side  of the island, a very unusual  stratum
   of  alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired  it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted  into  ductile  iron I used that to make tools and used the tools  to make the hardware."

The guy is  stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she  says. So, after a short time of rowing, she soon  docks the boat at a small  wharf.
 As  the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the  boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to  an exquisite  bungalow  painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up  the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp  rope, the  man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.  As  they walk into the house, she says  casually,   "It's  not much, but I call it home. Sit down,  please."

"Would you like a  drink?"

"No!  
No thank you," the man  blurts out, still dazed.  "I can't take  another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not  coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still.   How would you like a
Pina  Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued  amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on  her couch to talk.
  After  they exchange their individual survival stories,  the woman announces, "I'm going to slip  into something  more comfortable.  Would you like to take a  shower and shave?  There's a razor in the  bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer  questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into  the bathroom.  There, in the cabinet is a  razor
 made  from a piece of tortoise bone.  Two shells  honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to  its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This  woman is amazing," he muses.  "What's next?"   When he returns, she greets him wearing  nothing
  but  some small flowers on tiny vines, each  strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of  gardenias.   She  then beckons for him to sit down next to  her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively,  slithering closer to him, "We've both been out  here for many months. 
  You  must have been lonely. There's something I'm  certain you feel like doing right now, something  you've  been  longing for, right?" She stares into his  eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing.  "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start  to form in his eyes,
  "You've  built a Golf  Course?"

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